This is My World

Well, I had a good few weeks with my back pain actually easing up. I found some new friends and got in touch with some old friends.  I even found someone I consider to be special.  We had an adventure at Olive Garden. I’ve cooked dinner three times. My back is starting to hurt again, but that’s not what I want to write about today.

For anyone that knows me, or has been where I have, I’ve been extremely nervous about this new person in my life.   (I’m 26 years old and about to sound like a teenager, just deal with it.)  I’ve been hurt so many times in my life that every time I find someone new the same thought is in the back of my head, “When is this one gonna turn out like the rest?”

So far, he is not the “typical guy.”  This is a good thing.  I’m getting spoiled and enjoying it.  I actually feel like I’m living my own fairy tale right now.  So, the question remains, “Is it actually possible to be this blissfully happy?” Honestly, I hope so because I’m enjoying every second of it.

So, to the person that can look into my eyes and know what I’m feeling, all the questions that I’m trying not to let out were answered in my horoscope this morning.  To me it said wait and see, but I’m going to go ahead and share it with the world anyway.

A new person in your life is sparking some questions in your own mind — where are you going — how soon do you need to get there? Answers won’t come easy, and they shouldn’t. If they do, you’re probably just telling yourself what society expects of you. So just let these questions simmer for a while and don’t put too much pressure on finding an answer right now. Sooner or later you will come to some conclusions that will give you a firm foundation and a plan of attack.

I had an interesting day today.  Let me tell you about it.

First, when I got out of the shower my dog was laying on MY bed.  I said, “Diamond, do you really think you own the WHOLE house?”  She gave me that look.  You know the one.  It say, “Well Duh! How could you not know that?”

Later, I took a twelve year old to get a hair cut at Fantastic Sam’s.  The lady asked me how he wanted his hair cut.  I said, “He’s twelve, he can speak for himself.”

Finally, Wendy’s.  I asked for two waters and he said, “No, I put them in separate bags.”

Yep it’s been a good day.  It’s about to get better too.  I’m going to play pool with the person that has my head in the clouds right now.

Hmm… It’s been a while since I actually wrote something in my blog.  Maybe I should do that today. 

The things that are most on my mind right now, I am not ready to tell the world about.  I am also sick of the news.  So, here are a few questions I’ve been pondering:

Why do some men with mullets and pony tails wear cut off shorts to Olive Garden?

How can a mother stay sober long enough to get one son from Missouri, but not long enough to raise the one that “lives” with her?

How can a 24-year-old be less mature than a 12-year-old?

How can spending time with someone you just met take the stress of the rest of the world away?

When did that wall around my heart go away? And how did I miss the memo on that?

How can two people have the same group of friends for years, hang out in the same place, and be so alike and compatible, but not meet until just now?

There you have it.  If you know me, then you know exactely what’s going on in my life.

When your friend or relative is seriously sick, they can go to the doctor.  When they run out of money, you can have a benefit for them.  When they are injured in a car wreck, they go almost immediately to the hospital.  When they’re sent overseas, all you can do is pray for them.

Most of my friends that I met in the Navy are out of the service already.  The few that are still in aren’t being deployed.  The people I knew from around here that went into the National Guard did their duty and came home safe. 

Someone I graduated high school with is now a United States Marine.  His name is Walter Haney and he’s headed out to sea today.  All I’m asking is for anyone reading this to please pray for him and the other Marines he is with.  I have yet to lose a friend to this war, and I don’t want to start now.

Well, here I am again in Perry County, Indiana. The scenery is actually beautiful if you manage to get out of Tell City and Cannelton. So beautiful in fact that when I came home in 2005, I wondered why I ever left this place. Here lately, it’s all been coming back to me. Are you from here? You should read this!  If not, READ IT ANYWAY!

After I graduated high school in 2001, I went to college in Arkansas. I was sick of this place. It seemed like every time I thought I had a group of friends to hang out with, one person would decide they didn’t like me. Then, it seemed like I’d lose at least 5 friends. Mom kept telling me that it’s just high school. She said that they would grow up eventually. I just figured it was me.

Well, I was gone from 2001 until 2005. The first thing I learned is that it wasn’t me. I really was a likable person. In Arkadelphia, Arkansas I fell into a large group of friends that liked to party a lot. I had the time of my life. So much so that I forgot to go to class and flunked out of college. Looking back it was worth it. That group of friends gave me the confidence I needed to go through the next few years of moving around a lot.

After flunking out of college, I lived in Bloomington, Indiana for a while. Loved it!! I was either working at Wendy’s or hanging out with my friends. The problem was that before I moved there I had enlisted in the Navy. So come April 2002, I had to leave. I cried when I left. Actually, I cried myself to sleep at night while I was in boot camp.

The Navy took me to Monterey, California after boot camp. A lot more beautiful than Perry County, Indiana. I loved it so much that I wanted to stay. If I had the money, I would probably go back. The price of living is like 5 times higher than here so that’s probably not going to happen. I was in Plume’s Coffee Shop one afternoon when this guy named Mickey found me and showed me around town. He introduced me to a group of some of the most amazing people I have ever met in my life. If the Navy wasn’t keeping me busy, I was at the Transit Center (large outdoor bus stop). We partied a lot, debated the meaning of life, solved the world’s problems. Two people in that group decided they didn’t like me. No one else in that group had a problem. They stayed friends with me and with the people that didn’t like me. That’s what friends do.

As the military goes, you can’t stay in one place too long. By the end of 2003, I was on my way to Georgia. The man I married in California turned into something different when we got to Georgia. I tried to hold it together, but there’s only so much one partner can do without the help of the other. Let’s just say I wasn’t allowed to leave the house except to go to work.

Well, after we separated, I was free! I went out a couple times and found myself in the Metro Coffee House. Great bar! Yet another group of friends that had each other’s backs no matter what. When one of them decided he was mad at another, they were both still invited to the Superbowl parties, etc. After I got out of the Navy, I couldn’t find a job. I didn’t have a choice but to come home in 2005.

After I started going out the the bars (Cantina and Alpine), I easily found friends. All of them were people that I had never met before. Within a year most of them moved away. Lee Hulse went to Indianapolis (I think). Big Dan went to Santa Claus with his fiance (but he calls everytime he’s in town). Sherri is in Hardinsburg, KY. Everyone else is just scattered. I found more friends pretty easy, but those are the 3 that I miss.

So, here I am in Perry County trying to find friends again. I thought the issues in high school were gone, and this should be a fairly easy task. Boy was I wrong. In the past few weeks, I have had to make new friends, TWICE. My back started easing up enough to move around about the time I kicked Jeff out. So I headed out to find my old friends. Don’t know what I did, but they turned their noses up at me. A few didn’t, but then one specific person didn’t like me anymore and BAM lost my friends. When that person’s not around they’ll still talk to me, but I’m so sick of those games.

Less than a week later, I stumble into a group of people that enjoyed muddin, camping, bonfires, etc. Oh yeah!! I was having the time of my life. Then, one person decides they don’t like me and the rest tell me to F-off. This is starting to feel like high school again.

In Perry County I can count my friends on one hand. I went to high school with one, another has his daughter on weekends, one is a bartender, one used to be in the Navy, and the other holds the bar up at the Cantina. Three of those I never see outside a bar. There are various other people that live in Perry County that I would call friends if they would talk to me somewhere other than online or through a text message. When I see them in public, I say hi and it’s like I don’t exist.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a loner by any means. I’m actually a very sociable person. I love being around people. However, it angers me when people turn their noses up at me because they don’t want someone else seeing them talk to me. So far, that’s been Perry County lately. If I had the money, I’d leave again. My only hesitation would be leaving my family and two of my five friends.

There are a few things that I would like to share with everyone.  It’s time to be serious for a moment.  So, what I’m going to do is share with you kind of where I’ve been and where I’m headed.  Please pay attention.

First, I was in the Navy for 3 1/2 years and ended up with a general discharge (under honorable conditions).  Besides my career, all I really lost was was the Montgomery G.I. Bill.  At the time it wasn’t that big of a deal because I was happy to start with retail jobs and work my way up to a good paying factory job. 

When I was in the Navy, I hurt my back pretty bad.  It wasn’t due to an accident.  It was an early onset of degenerate disc disease caused by going from a lazy teenager to an overworked sailor.  They say that condition isn’t supposed to hurt.  Well, it does.

Earlier this year, the pain in my lower back and the nerve pain in my legs finally got to a point that I couldn’t handle it anymore.  It caused me to fall to my knees at work.  Since February,  I haven’t been able to sit up longer than a couple hours at a time.  Standing and walking were limited to occasions that were absolutely necessary.  Needless to say, I’ve been off work since February. 

Over the past few weeks, I’ve gotten myself to where I can sit up a little longer and walk a little further.  To find something to earn income for myself  and work around the pain I started selling quilts on Etsy.  That venture keeps growing slowly.  I thank God for that.

In case you are wondering, I do have a plan.  I want to go back to school.  Earlier this year I filled out a FAFSA only to find out that I made too much money last year to get financial aid.  So, I’m going to wait til I file taxes next year and fill it out again.  They’ll go on this years income and I will get financial aid.  I’m going to go to American Military University online to get a Bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice.  I want to use that degree to either be a Corrections Counselor or a Parole/Probation Officer. 

As you could imagine, for someone to get into that particular career field, it would be important to have a clean record.  Lately, I’ve been working really hard to keep myself away from situations that could get me into trouble.  Also, while in the Navy I learned (the hard way) that appearances are important when it comes to your career.  So, while I understand that people do change, I would prefer to find a group of friends with no felonies and no recent jail time.  That seems simple.  However, it has proven to be a very difficult task.  That doesn’t mean that I’m going to ignore everyone with a record.  I’m just not wanting to spend the majority of my time around people that are in and out of jail.  I’m sorry if that makes me sound mean, but for the first time in my life I’m starting to take care of myself first. 

I’ve had this criminal justice dream for quite some time.  It’s time for me to start making it come true.

It is almost the middle of September.  For the online shopping community now would be a great time to order any Halloween decorations you may need.  In a recent desire to buy handmade, I have decided to share with you a few of my favorite handmade Halloween decorations. 

First, here is Boo and Jack.  This adorable little decoration is made from wool with a process called needle felting.  Boo and Jack can be found in SacredCat’s store on Etsy.

Next, is a fabric “Trick or Treat” banner by AddieBugs on Etsy.  Unlike paper banners, this banner is re-usable year after year.  It would look great displayed at a party or in your home.

Third, here is a quilted jack-o-lantern.  Have a baby with older siblings that like to trick or treat? Keep the baby warm this Halloween with this quilted jack-o-lantern from Becky Morton Creations.  It’s the perfect size for a stroller. 

 So, there you have a few of my favorite handmade Halloween finds this year.  Please join me in making this Halloween a Handmade Halloween.

After selling quilts on Etsy for a while, I’ve discovered an entire world of handmade goods.  Canned goods, cookies, donuts, clothing, blankets, jewelry, purses, backpacks, soap - you can find it all on Etsy.  There’s more than what I just listed too.  Most of it is reasonably, too.  Honestly, I just knocked out over half my Christmas list with $20. 

For the past couple of days, I’ve been thinking.  I’ve made the decision to buy as many handmade things as I can from the people that make them.  Handmade items are quality, durable items that can be used. 

Why would I buy handmade instead of mass produced?  Think about it.  If you buy a bracelet from CastleBeadBiz on Etsy, you a paying the person that runs that shop to make a bracelet for you.  If you were to buy a similar bracelet at a retail store, you’re paying someone to make it, someone to sell it, someone to supervise both of them, someone to do payroll, someone to coordinate sells, someone to coordinate a work schedule, etc. 

I like simplicity.  So, I’d prefer just to pay someone to make it for me.  Most cities have places where local people sell the stuff they made.  In my town they are at flea markets, fairs, and festivals. 

If you can’t find something in your area, there are multiple places to buy handmade online.  BuyHandmade.org has a short list of sites that sell handmade items.  It’s on the right and you may have to scroll down.  Or you can search for what you want on your search engine.

For those of you who do know me, I actually do have a college degree.  It’s an Associates in a foreign language that is not used in Perry County, IN.  Randomly this week, I decided to brush up on this language. 

A few minutes ago I was browsing through one of my text books and suddenly remembered why I had to take the class twice. There are a lot of very pretty flowers in that text book.  It makes me wonder if I would have had a higher GPA had I just quit drawing and listened to the teacher.

School is starting again.  Of course, I have a little advice to those of you starting classes.  If you want to pass the first time, quit drawing and listen to the teacher.

Deer Season really isn’t open yet, but I really wish it was.  nothing like shivering in a deer stand waiting on a deer to come along. 

Anyway, I got this in an email today and thought I would share it.  Hope you found it as humorous as I did.

So I was out singing karaoke last night.  About half way through the night it occurred to me that some people don’t know how to act at karaoke.  If you find that you are one of those people, here are a few tips that will help you out.

1. If someone else is singing, don’t get up and sing into their microphone.  Wait your turn!!
2. If you don’t at least know the chorus, don’t bother.  No one else will know what it is either. 
3. Four beers may give you the courage to try a new song, but it won’t give you the ability.
4. If you can’t sing it sober, you won’t be able to sing it drunk either.
5. If there are more singers that microphones, it will sound horrible.  Don’t bother.

So, there you have it.  Five tips for a successful karaoke night.  When you head out to the karaoke bar tonight, remember these tips and you won’t embarrass yourself.

It’s Friday!!  There’s karaoke at the Cantina tonight.  I’m going out with my boots on! 

Yes, the Cantina has been a place that I have avoided like the plague for the past year or so.  When it gets crowded, it gets violent.  However, I’ve heard that it had settle down a little since some of the trouble makers landed themselves in jail. 

Usually, after ending a relationship part of my healing process is to find some karaoke and sing my heart out.  It’s usually some of the rowdier country songs like Before He Cheats, Gunpowder and Lead, Kerosene, etc.  That’s exactly what I plan to do tonight.  I mean sing, not perform the actions in the songs.  I’m not homicidal, but my shot gun is loaded by my bed.  If you’re coming through my window, you don’t need to be in my house.

So, I’m going out with my boots on tonight.  I just have to find the right shirt. 

Would have been a great day to go fishing earlier!!  Usually right before it rains it fish start biting really good.  So, I’m getting my tackle box ready when I notice that it looks empty.  So, I do a quick inventory to see what’s missing.  My good swivels, my stringers, and the hooks I  use for setting up lizards are gone. 

Swivels help switch out lures easily, so that’s just a mild inconvenience.  I already had a couple lizards set up, so that’ll be okay.  Really though? My stringers?  Where the hell am I supposed to put the fish that I catch?  I don’t own a bucket big enough. 

In case you’re wondering, I just kicked out my pot head, ex-boyfriend.  Since kicking him out, I keep noticing more and more of my stuff gone.  Really? Half the contents of my tackle box?  Jeff Fight if you are reading this you are a @$$hole!!

Imagine that it is the year 2002 and you are a young female sailor about 19, stationed in Monterey, California at the Defense Language Institute learning Persian-Farsi.  You are required to go to study hall in your school house two evenings a week.  This is a school house shared with Russian Language students. 

It is there that you meet a Russian student named Robert K. Geertson.  He’s a Marine about your age from Idaho.  Soon, he’s absolutely the love of your life.  Then, Russian isn’t going that well for him.  So, he is pulled from class and sent to Camp Lejeune for different training. 

After he finishes training at Camp Lejeune he heads to Camp Pendleton.  You keep in touch there wanting so badly just to go see him, and touch him, and hold him.  You can’t though.  You’re a sailor and the Navy is keeping you too busy.  Even on your long weekends you have watch. 

Then, you get a phone call.  It’s Robert.  Your heart sinks as he tells you that he’s headed to Iraq.  You want so badly to beg him to find some way out of it, but you can’t.  It’s his job.  So, you promise you’ll be there for him when he gets back. 

You’re constantly sending him letters and pictures and telling him how much you love him and miss him.  You get one from him about once a week.  They’re short.  He’s in a war zone.  It’s not a good idea give too many details from there in a letter. 

The last letter you remember getting from him was saying that he was sorry he wasn’t there for you when your grandma passed away.  You write one back to tell him it’s okay, and he has a more important job to do. 

Then, months go by with no letters.  You hear a new song, “I’m Already There.”  It makes you cry.  You remember all the times that you wish he was already home, holding you.  You miss his laugh, smile, even the shape of his chin. 

Instead of surrounding yourself with people in a similar situation that will tell you sometimes they get in places where they’re not allowed to write, you listen to your friends.  Of course, your friends aren’t telling you to be patient.  They’re saying he’s ignoring you, you never meant that much to him.  You’re young, and like a fool you move on.  From there, your life goes to hell.

Every day that goes by, you constantly think of that young Marine, Robert Geertson from Idaho.  You often find yourself wishing you would have just waited for Robert Geertson to get back from Iraq. 

Now it’s 2009.  You’re 26 years old and still constantly think of that same young Marine that you gave your heart to 7 years ago.  You want nothing more than to just run to him and start a new life, but you have many problems with that dream.  If he’s moved on and has a wife and kids, you’re out of the picture.  You think you found him on MySpace to maybe catch up, but it hasn’t been checked in a year and a half.  Lucky for you, he’s on Classmates.com, but no reply.

In case you haven’t figured it out, that 19 year old sailor in 2002 is me.  At this point, I would really like to talk to Robert and tell him I’m sorry for not waiting for him.  Honestly, I would love to catch up and talk about the past 7 years, but he’s a difficult person to find.  Hopefully, he doesn’t become that long lost love that I wonder about until my dying day.

Today is September 1st.  That’s the day I get to tell you what my most popular story was in August.  Let’s think back to May 21st.  What was going on?  Right, Obama was passing bills without people actually reading them.  The story I wrote that day was the most read in August with 248 unique visits.  Wow!

The story was “Obama’s Secret Credit Bill Passes: What’s in It?” That day I had spent hours on the internet trying to see if anything in that bill actually pertained to me.  Well, I couldn’t even figure out what was in the bill.  So much for “transparent Government.”  A couple of days after posting the article a lady wrote a really long comment summarizing the bill.  After reading it, I concluded that the bill didn’t actually change anything.  Yep, Obama wasting taxpayer money to make himself look good.