This is My World

So I was out singing karaoke last night.  About half way through the night it occurred to me that some people don’t know how to act at karaoke.  If you find that you are one of those people, here are a few tips that will help you out.

1. If someone else is singing, don’t get up and sing into their microphone.  Wait your turn!!
2. If you don’t at least know the chorus, don’t bother.  No one else will know what it is either. 
3. Four beers may give you the courage to try a new song, but it won’t give you the ability.
4. If you can’t sing it sober, you won’t be able to sing it drunk either.
5. If there are more singers that microphones, it will sound horrible.  Don’t bother.

So, there you have it.  Five tips for a successful karaoke night.  When you head out to the karaoke bar tonight, remember these tips and you won’t embarrass yourself.

I went to the bar tonight.  Not to rock my beer gut, I just wanted to have a couple beers and engage in conversation.  See, when you live in the country, you can go days without talking to people.  Sometimes, human interaction is important to maintain sanity. 

So I was at the Hide Away in Tell City having a good conversation with an old friend.  It was actually an interesting topic and I intend to share it with you.

We were talking about how beer can relieve physical pain. I said that if it wasn’t so hard on my liver I would probably just drink beer instead of taking pain pills that my doctor gave me.  Then, I thought about what I had said, and we compared beer to the strong pain pills (Percocet, Lortab, etc) that doctors prescribe. 

When I walked into that bar, I was limping because my back hurt.  After a couple of beers I started walking straight because the pain actually eased in my back.  It was basically the same effect as if I were to take a Percocet.  In both instances, beer and Percocet, I felt a little buzzed but the pain was almost gone. 

So,  why should I take Percocet (or a different prescribed narcotic) when a couple beers has the same effect?  That’s a good question.  Both beer and Percocet are hard on your liver.  They both affect your ability to drive or operate heavy machinery.  With Percocet you feel high, with beer it’s called buzzed.  High and buzzed are basically the same feeling.  Your inhibitions will be lowered either way.  They both relieve the same pain. 

To be honest, I would prefer beer.  Beer is cheaper and tastes better.  If you control yourself while drinking beer, you are less likely to become addicted than if you were taking Percocet.  You can also share your beer with your friend without breaking the law.  Beer is easier on my stomach than Percocet, Lortab, or other narcotics are.  Beer also doesn’t make me constipated.  Yep, from my point of view, beer is definitely a better option for pain relief than prescription narcotics. 

Well, as my blog is building, I seem to have a lot of stories involving different family members.  It has recently come to my attention that I have no stories posted on my blog involving my mom.  So, after searching through my pictures, I realized that she likes to give the camera person the finger a lot.  However, as my cousin and I learned one Mother’s Day, if you get her drunk, she doesn’t flip the camera off.  Story continues below the photo!

See around Mother’s Day 2006, I was broke and so was my cousin.  However, we really wanted to get my mom something for Mother’s Day.  We didn’t know what to get her, so we got her drunk.I’m pretty sure everyone had fun that night. 

Since Mom lives next door, we let her walk home.  She started off okay.  Then she started swerving left toward the road.  After a while she staggered back toward the house.  Then, she swerved almost to the road and was coming pretty close to the bank that lead directly to pavement.  All of the sudden, she did an abrupt right face and marched straight toward her front door and made it inside.

Think that was funny? You should have been watching it.  My cousin and I had our heads hung out the front door like cartoons trying not to get caught watching something.  We were laughing so hard.   I’m surprised we didn’t fall out the front door.

Don’t get me wrong, my mom’s not an alcoholic.  She rarely goes beyond one or two beers.  That night however, was different.

Cheers, Becky

Do you have a short message you want to give someone?  But you want a unique way to send it.  Never fear, I have an idea.  Well, actually, it wasn’t my idea.  I just stumbled into it on eBay.

With the economy being tough and eBay auctions being a little low, a cartoonist and eBay seller in Georgia came up with a unique way to make a few extra dollars.  If you win the online auction, “Redneck Beer Gut Man” will write your message on his “Beer Gut” and email 3 JPEG views directly to your inbox.

Redneck Beer Gut Man says his beer gut is ”prime advertising space” and would be perfect for a marriage proposal, business card, or blog advertisement.

There are a few rules though.  The messages have to be in good taste, no offensive messages.  They also have to be 20 words or less to fit on the beer gut.  The color choices are red, black, green, or blue.

So, here’s to Redneck Beer Gut Man for coming up with a truly awesome and unique idea. 

Click here to see the auction.  If you have any unique ideas of your own, use the contact me page.  If I like it, I’ll write a blog entry about it.

This is my 100th post on Today.com.  It’s probably not going to be as passionate as some of the other things I have written.  You can blame that on the boyfriend that decided to come home puking drunk today and thought saying, “I’m sorry I’m too drunk to eat dinner with you” would fix everything.

Nevertheless, I still have an article to write.  Between emptying puke buckets today, I have managed to view some of the news online.  So I figured I would sum it all up for you.  So, here’s a list of headlines and a brief summary.

“Michael Jackson Dies”

This headline has over 18,000 digs on Digg.com and still rising.  Needless to say I didn’t read it.  The local news on Fox 7 said he died in Los Angeles of a heart attack at age 50.  I’m waiting for a scientist to relate that to plastic surgery. 

“Farrah Fawcet DEAD at age 62″

This one isn’t quite as popular.  I’m sure there are many people that remember Farra Fawcet.  However, when she was popular, I was still watching cartoons like Scooby Doo.  My brother, however, called me today to make sure I knew this happened.  Apparently, he was deeply saddened by it.

“Adultery is a crime in South Carolina!”

It caught my attention.  Remember Governor Sanford? He admitted publicly that he cheated on his wife.  The punishment for adultery in South Carolina can range from a $100 fine to one year in prison.  Honestly, I think that’s something that should be kept among the parties involved, but he is the governor of South Carolina and should have followed the law.

Finally, since it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t mention something that Obama is messing up, here you go.

“As Obama Pushes National Health Care,
Most Americans Already Happy With Coverage” 

This was on FoxNews.com today.  Their opening line in it was,  

“As the Obama administration pushes for a national health care plan, studies show that most Americans are overwhelmingly happy with their own health care — including most of the 46 million Americans without insurance.”  

So, I wonder why he’s really pushing for it?  

–

Well, I have to go check and make sure the boyfriend is still breathing.  So enjoy your day and try not to think about drunk people puking in a bucket.

Former President George W. Bush was on Fox News yesterday talking in a press conference.  He was very straight forward about his opinion of current President Obama’s new policies.  Mr. Bush made it clear that he did not want to criticise Obama as a person.  However, Mr. Bush was very frank with his opinion of Obama’s policies. 

“Government does not create wealth,” Mr. Bush said, explaining that the role of the government is to create an environment in which American people have the liberty to create jobs and income on their own.

I only saw a couple clips of his speech in a Fox News video.  From what I saw Mr. Bush seems to be more relaxed now than when he was President.  This of course is understandable to me.  If I were to attempt to lead a nation that just wanted handouts, I would be very stressed, too.  In fact, I would probably stutter when I talked, and misuse and make up a lot of words out of sheer stress.

The government’s job is defense of the nation, and creating and enforcing laws that protect the people.  Unfortunately, right now the government is trying to make the American people so dependant on it that they lose their sense of independence and liberty.  The scary part is that it seems to be working. 

There are actually people on Social Security Disability for alcoholism and and obesity.  These are not disabilities, these are life choices that those people have made.  Yet, here I am with back pain so bad that I can only sit up for about an hour at a time, and just got turned down for disability.  Instead of whining about it, I’ve filed an appeal with the help of a lawyer.  In the meantime, I am scratching around everywhere trying to find a legitimate work from home job that will keep my utilities on.  Mainly because I know that without people holding jobs and paying taxes, there wouldn’t be Social Security for people to fall back on when they are disabled.

Now that I’ve touched on taxes, let’s talk about the economy.  I am so sick of hearing people say that Obama will bring the country out of the current economic crisis.  Where do you think that money is coming from that he’s unsuccessfully pouring into failing businesses?  Straight out of the working man’s pocket is where it comes.  Obama is full of hot air with no positive action.

Former President Bush said yesterday (June 17),

“I know it’s going to be the private sector that leads this country out of the current economic times we’re in.  You can spend your money better than the government can spend your money.”

You know what?  He’s right.  American’s know when to save and when to spend.  We know what we want and what we need.  It’s the companies that make those products that we want and need and can afford that will be the most profitable.  The government needs to stay out of it.  The economy was starting to fix itself before Obama’s “stimulus bill” was passed.

They need to stay out of our health care, too.  A good example of government run health care is in the Navy’s Recruit Training Command (boot camp).  When I was there in 2002, they started handing out cough drops and cough syrup for pink eye.  That was the standard of what you got when you went to medical no matter what it was.  I even got a “cold pack” for having an infected blister on my heal.

Well, my dad got married yesterday (Saturday). 

First thing Saturday morning some of the neighbors were helping to set up the picnic tables and food tents.  There was a bird causing problems.  So, the bride-to-be went into the house and grabbed a shotgun.  Plow! The bird problem was fixed.  Of course, a couple of the men helping set up had to change their pants.  But it’s better than having bird poop on a table that people will be sitting at to eat. 

The ceremony went quite well. No one fell getting up the ramp to the place where the ceremony took place.  The wedding rings were tied to a horse shoe.  Somehow the best man managed to get the rings off of it without dropping them.  They had karaoke music at the reception.  Both the garter and the bouquet were caught by children under 10.  So, no one else that was there is getting married for quite a while.  The wedding party toasted with Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill flavored wine.

Congratulations to Larry and Cheryl Morton!

I’m a bridesmaid in my dad’s wedding today.  So I will be away from my computer until Sunday morning.  I increased my blog traffic, however, by simply putting some of my better pieces on StumbleUpon.  In the past 25 minutes I’ve had over 100 readers.  I’m hoping that trend continues.  But I digress.

My dad’s new wife is a nice person.  She is bringing out the better qualities in my dad that I haven’t seen in years.  While I’m not yet ready for a new step-mom, I am ready for her to be my dad’s new wife.

The wedding should be entertaining to say the least.  It’ll have two preachers and multiple fire arms.  The bride will also have a small pistol attached to her garter.  Dinner will be served in the barn following the ceremony. 

While I would love to sit here and find interesting topics to write about and increase my blog traffic, I must go to sleep because I have a hair appointment at 9 am.  After the wedding I’m sure there will be plenty of alcohol available to those of us that are of age. So, after waking up in a tent on Sunday morning, I will be returning to my computer and hopefully I will be somewhat functional.  Thank you for reading and enjoy your Saturday.

The Evansville Courier has a story on its website today about a baby that was struck in the head with a beer can.  Apparently, Shelbie Wilson of Evansville, Indiana went to the baby’s parents’ home to start an argument.  When the parents asked her to leave, Shelbie threw a half full beer can at them.  The can bounced off the house and hit the baby in the head.  Shelbie then sped off in a red Pontiac Grand Am.  So, Police are still looking for her. 

When I red the story, I assumed Shelbie Wilson was maybe in her thirties possibly drinking all her life.  Then one of the www.courierpress.comreaders found her MySpace page at www.myspace.com/163068032and posted it in the comments.  According to her MySpace page, Shelbie is only 18.  This just goes to show you that alcohol and immaturity do not mix.

The second DUI arrest in the Evansville Courier’s headlines online today. 

“A 45-year-old Evansville man who fled from police told investigators he did so because he thought he might be drunk and because he needed to use the restroom.”

The man ran a stop sign and got pulled over.  Then thought, “Oh yeah, I’ve been drinking, and I have to pee.” so he ran away.  Police used a tazer to stop him, which probably caused the urge to pee to go down his legs. 

He got out of jail at 2:45 this morning.  So, Mr. Rick C. Hope, if you ever drink and drive again, which I hope you don’t, remember that the police station has bathrooms.  There’s no need to run and make it worse on yourself.  You’re going to get caught anyway.

I was thinking about how bored I was with staring at the walls at home when one of my buddies, Big Dan, called and offered to buy me a beer if I went to the Alpine in Tell City, Indiana.  That’s only twenty minutes away and beer sounded good.  With this particular group of friends there is never a dull moment.  So, I went. 

Big Dan’s buddy from work was there.  I can’t remember the man’s name so we’ll call him John. Well, John is from Florida and thinks everyone he meets should act as though they were from Florida, as well.  The problem with that logic is this is Perry County, Indiana and a majority of people haven’t ever been to Florida.  So, his annoying behavior got on my nerves pretty quick.  Fortunately, they decided to walk down to John’s house within an hour and a half. 

Well, watching people play Corn-hole in the Alpine got pretty boring.  So, after one Miller Lite and a Mr. Pibb I decided to drive around a little bit and go home. 

A little ways down the road I was thinking to myself, “I wonder if any other bars have something going on tonight.”  About that time the car behind me lit up in red and blue lights. 

I thought, “What did I do? I’m not speeding and my head lights are on.”

I pulled on over and the officer pulled in behind me.  I rolled down my window and handed him my license and registration.  The officer explained that I had run a red light.  He said it was about to turn green if I would have just waited a second.  Honestly, I don’t remember any light, but I know Tell City and there is actually a major intersection with a stop light about a block behind where he pulled me over.

This being 11:30 on a Saturday night, his next question was, “Have you been drinking?”

I said, “I’ve had one beer.”

That statement led to me having to get out of the car and follow his ink pen with my eyes only.  Then, the breathalyzer.  The first one read zero and he wasn’t convinced.  So, I had to take it again.  When the second one read zero I mentioned that I had a Mr. Pibb before I left.  He explained that one beer should show up as something.  Then, he handed me a warning for the red light.

Thinking back on it this is actually kind of odd that the breathalyzer read zero.  The last time I had one beer the breathalyzer read .02, but I’m not complaining.  I was honest and now he’s doubting the accuracy of his breathalyzer gadget.

According to www.courierpress.com a couple of underage kids in Evansville, Indiana were playing the popular drinking game “Beer Pong” when they got into an argument over the rules.  During this argument one of them said, “Let’s take it outside.”  Now, most people know this means a fight is going to occur.  However, one of these guys didn’t understand that and is now pressing simple battery charges on the other one.  Why can’t everyone just play nice?  If you find yourself in an argument over the rules of beer pong please visit the following website for the official rules. 

 http://beerpongrules.blogsome.com/beer-pong-game/ 

Also, there is a virtual beer pong game at this site in case you don’t understand. 

Everyone knows the economy has been pretty bad for a while.  Sometimes it seems as though it’s starting to recover, but very slowly.  So, I wonder.  Why are two of Sazerac North America’s distilleries expanding in Kentucky? 

“Gov. Steve Beshear’s office said Thursday the expansions represent a combined investment of nearly $28 million and will result in some 89 new full-time jobs,” says the Evansville Courier. 

Okay so the state of Kentucky is going to invest $28 million into 89 new jobs.  I understand that alcohol is highly taxed and the state will most likely get that money back fairly quickly. 

Well, I figured the expansion may also be related to an increase in alcohol sales as people attempt to cope with a bad economy.  Every website I looked at showed alcohol sales fell sharply in 2008 and into 2009.  So, I did a little more research and discovered that alcohol sales actually didn’t fall as bad as other products.  This suggests that people are simply buying cheaper alcohol to save money. 

Then, I realized that the products produced at the two distilleries getting expanded in Kentucky are by no means top shelf.  Buffalo Trace Bourbon, made in Frankfort, Kentucky, isn’t all that bad though.  Mix it with a little orange juice and you have a Kentucky Screwdriver.  Other versions call for Southern Comfort, but that’s a little more expensive.

The economy is bad, but the alcohol business is still profitable.  More people are drinking at home now instead of going to a bar or club.  This in turn reduces the number of DUI’s. 

In Arvada, Colorado police “pulled over” a cowboy riding his horse through town.  Apparently, they had received a call that the cowboy was falling out of his saddle.  After walking a line and taking a breathalyzer, officers determined the man was above the legal limit to be riding a horse. 

The penalty for riding while intoxicated in Arvada, CO is a $25 ticket.  Police also called a local stall owner to give the cowboy and his horse a ride home.

As it is, I think it’s a funny story from a small town other than my own.  Although this does happen around here too.  Mainly the local drunks that have had too many DUI’s and lost their licenses.  So, they ride horses, lawn mowers, and tractors to the local bars. It’s quite comical.

I want to start by saying I love small towns. 

Apparently, Indiana State Police have decided that Hoosiers, especially in Perry County, have nothing better to do but to go out a drink on Easter weekend.  As we all know this is a very holy Christian holiday.  We are supposed to remember that Our Savior, Jesus Christ, died on the cross to forgive us of our sins.  Thank God for that. 

Well, anyway the Indiana State Police post in Jasper is under the impression that Perry Countians will be out drinking this weekend without a designated driver.  So, Thursday’s issue of the Perry County News announced that the state police would have a sobriety check point set up for Saturday, April 11.  This alone caused much debate on the newspaper’s online forum as well as in the community itself. 

A few people thought the state police should be spending more time finding the drug dealers and other criminals in Perry County instead of harassing people just trying to relax on the weekend.  One reader pointed out that they blew the surprise by publishing this in the local paper.  A number of other people responded that the state police are required to announce this, they just don’t have to say exactly where. 

Then, there are those of us who remember Jared Wheatley.  He was everyone’s friend and the nicest guy you would ever meet.  He was a hard working man who would give you the shirt off his back if he thought you needed it more.  One night, he flipped his truck while the police were trying to pull him over for drunk driving.  Thank God he’s still alive.  But he’s now in a nursing home because he can no longer take care of himself.  Anyone who remembers Jared has learned to either have a designated driver or don’t drink at all.  I would like to remind you that I’m talking about a very small town.  Most people know him.

That being said, I doubt the state police caught many people out drinking and driving in Perry County unless they were from out of town.  If they did, it will be in the records section of the Perry County News this coming Thursday.  For anyone interested I will post a blog about this as soon as I find out.

UPDATE: I didn’t find any information saying that anyone was caught in this waste of taxpayer money they called a checkpoint.